First of all, I’m not writing any of this to look for pity or any kind of attention, Just venting to anyone who cares to read, I guess… I don’t know what to think right now.. I feel like crying, my mind is everywhere.. I’m always giving advice to my friends but when it comes to myself I can’t even talk myself up and believe it.. I haven’t reached that breaking down point but as long as my mind keeps wandering off like this, I most likely will.. There’s so many things I want to say to this & that person! So many things I wish I could have done and didn’t have done.. most of all things I wish I could have fixed.. Lately, I’ve found myself living in the past.. I guess I can say its ruining me… but there’s just this one thing holding me back, that I don’t want to let go of.. hoping and wishing that maybe just maybe it could be fixed… I’m a fool for wishing for it but it just feels like that’s the only way I’d be happy again.. it’s stupid! I’m stupid or even wanting that back.. Gosh ,I don’t knoooooow what to do…